you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize