i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
