Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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