i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
