THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
