I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
