The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize