Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How does one acquire holy water?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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