this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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