I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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