What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
