I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
