i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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