Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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