i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am naked and annoyed.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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