you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
