You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
