so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i came on her dog
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
