you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize