Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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