I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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