I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
