i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
