I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
