Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
