i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
where does the pee come out of this thing
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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