drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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