I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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