I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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