We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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