talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
