I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
where does the pee come out of this thing
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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