You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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