I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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