Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
