Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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