I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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