is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
