Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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