Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize