carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
