Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
