i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
50% drunk capacity currently
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
