An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
