I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
