I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
