we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
