And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
