I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
