People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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