We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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