hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
