Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
