i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
