Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
