dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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