so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
