Where is the hickey?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
