please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
