i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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