i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
