No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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