some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
